I'm sure most of you have heard people say, "Having a baby will change your life forever", and then they repeat that same statement to get their point across, "No really, it will change your life. " I know I've heard people say this more than once, but since I became a mother to my beautiful daughter at the fairly young age of nineteen, I really didn't have too much time to contemplate this statement.The birth of my daughter "seemed" to be life changing. I remember feeding her in the middle of the night, days after she was born, and completely losing it. By losing it, I mean crying in hysterics over the fact that I was totally responsible for this tiny human being for the rest of her life. That's what I thought everyone was talking about when they said " Having a baby will change your life".... Boy was I wrong.
During my daughters toddler years I thought, "Yeah, so you have a child to take care of, what's the big deal." "Ooh, how "life" changing... suck it up and be a mom." I continued thinking this even after my second child was born (a bouncing baby boy) and then I read a book that described this timeless statement more perfectly than I've ever heard anyone describe it. That book, and the life struggles I've had with my children, opened my eyes to that way of thinking forever.
The book describes becoming a parent on such a completely different level than I have ever heard because it talks about the person you were before you give birth and the person you are after you give birth. Basically, the book describes it like this, "When you have a child, the person you are dies", and so true that is. You are no longer the person that only cares about herself. Having a child brings on the most different kind of love that you will ever imagine and that feeling NEVER goes away. For the rest of your life your emotions for this child will continue, regardless of their age. They could be fifty-nine years old and you, the new you, will still have this continuous worry and undying love for your child.
I'm not trying to scare people away from having children. Have you ever heard the saying from Spiderman? "With great power, comes great responsibility." That's kind of the way I look at becoming a parent. It's the most beautiful and rewarding experience, but you have to have great responsibility. Oh, and you'll need to check your old self in at the door.
This sounds pretty good! I'm excited for the life changing events to come! It's gonna be good.
ReplyDeleteNice work, I look forward to following many more blogs to come! haha
Tina,
ReplyDeleteI can relate to your experience. I to have a daughter who is now six and I was one of six growing up, so I thought i had it "in the bag"...lol Boy oh boy was I wrong. It is the most rewarding job but also the most sad job sometimes. You definately "lose yourself". Its nice to know there are other mother's who feel the same.
Tina,
ReplyDeleteFirst off--WOW! What a "mini me" your daughter is!
Your story is actually a story I am hearing a lot these days. I have two very good girlfriends both with children, and I have been hearing their childbirthing/rearing battle cries! :)
I think it is so refreshing to hear blatant honesty about parenthood. Because the truth is, it isnt romantic like it is on TV (from what I understand!). While I don't have any kids, I often think back to when I was little and I wanted 10!!! kids. Was I nuts?!
Now my friends tease me with that little piece of information all the time when I gag at the "cute" things that babies do--like projective vomit! "Remember when you wanted 10 kids Jessica?" Ahhh the good, naieve days...
But the truth is, it is hard. And you need to be commended for doing such a fanastic job! Thank you for sharing such a wonderful story :)
Hurray to you for really "getting it" There are many people with children who are way older than you who sadly don't have that understanding.
ReplyDeleteAs stressful, tiring, irritating, happy, fun as motherhood is, at the end of the day knowing you will always have unconditional love makes it all worth it.
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